Get ready for the next battle?

When I decided to go buying some books at the book store, the phrase "get ready for the next battle?" the video game Taekyeon saying was stuck right in my mind and kept repeating it over and over again. This winter must be the period for the next stage coming in the upcoming spring, which I should prepare for. 

The life has been wild since the last posting. Actually it was not super wild, but still wild enough for me to survive, I think. I experienced the death, which gave me the time to think of what the life is, and affection, which made people feel the love inside the relationship. However, here I am, I am here to write the story of my life again. It might be my English problem, in my totally personal opinion, because I always felt the pressure to write the longer posting with the sufficient contents on my life thinking, which resisted me to write any type of blog posting. 

I am listening to Adele at 4.40 in the morning. With the full of sentimentality, I also again, once again, decided to write the blog posting as many as possible to enhance my writing skill, to record and track the thought and time of mine, and to share it with random unknown people who might get some positive energy through reading my stories. Well, my stories could be really ridiculous and weird, but I think it could be more precious than anything to me, because it is from the heaven. Thank God. 

The success is the greatest revenge.

 

 

This video of John Carpenter solving the last question to be the millionarie and becoming the first winner of the quiz show is my favorite moment of the history. Especially the part that he called his father to tell that he would be the millionarire was the best. I am not sure that the story about his childhood that I heard was whether true or not, but it totally inspires me for the time I fell down.

Here in the world, in the relationship with others, I could not avoid getting wounds no matter how hard I tried not to be sensitive about the words and behaviors they've done. At the younger age, I've thought of so many revenges against the people who hurt me, but once in the period of growing up, the idea saying I should not be under what others said and did and never let them destroy the happiness of mine came right in the middle of the mind. I was really weak and easily get influenced by the environments and what people talked about me, but I learned that what others think and talk about me is nothing. Some are from the jealousy and others from the envious heart. The only duty that I have is to live my own life well enough not to leave the regret behind.

And the success is the greatest revenge. The sucess means not only well-living, but also the great fortune to let them know. To get the moment of the revenge, focus on the aim and life.

Stop delaying the tasks, finish the work you started and move onto the next stage.

 

Since today for the next four days, Korean thanksgiving break has been started, and I planned several things though my laziness might resist me from the end line.

1. Finish the final draft of the writing from the spring.
2. Read four books shown in the picture.
3. Start writing the Korean novel for the annual spring literary contest.

Last night, I read the webtoon, Korean cartoons published serially on line, and the main theme was about the motivation and action. I always try to do something, but don't have the energy to push through the ending line, which made me discouraged and later blamed on other factors. Now soon I be 25 years old and don't have time to waste anymore. Before becoming 25, I would like to finish things I've started in the previous year.

Enjoy the lunch by myself in the crowd.

For about a month, I was so starved for the Italian food, not about the pizza, but about the noodle, spaghetti, and finally went to the Italian restaurant by myself. It was not unusual to go to the restaurant alone, but still felt really butterflies to stay in the crowd. Actually I could more focus on the taste of the food and of the noodle. 

While eating, I've thought of saying that "if you cannot enjoy every single moment of the life all by yourself, although someone came into your life, you would not be able to enjoy the moment of happiness." by me. I totally practiced standing on my own feet, and realized that the happiness never come through others, but from inside of my mind and heart. 

There was another saying coming out from my heart. While going through the life, there were two things we have on our hands; one is the matters that we can solve and change to move forward, and another is that there is nothing we can do about it, just let the heaven work. However, because of the ignorance, we got confused which one is which and wasted the time and energy. We waste our energies on the problems that we can't solve and waste our time not to do anything on the matters that we can change and move on.  I have to wake up and always try to be wise by reading books and others' words and by facing new experiences through new people and environments. 

Love to read when working.

It has been almost five months since I started to work at English library in Mok-dong. Although working didn't always provide me the best experience and the achievement, until the time I publish my own writing, it is the best place to work for me, except the vacation season. 

I have several tasks to finish. If finish them early, I could have my own time for reading. 

1. counseling on the phone

2. writing the progress report

3. 1:1 checkup after students finish reading and writing.

There are hundreds books to read including the picture books, young adult series, and adult novel and non-fictions. I started to read the whole young adult novels and classics. I really like the way I organized my place and spent some time here. Today, I'm reading "Skylark" by Patricia MacLachlan, one of the sequel to the Newbery Medal winner Sarah, Plain and Tall.

There is no way to get out of the facebook.

About a month ago, I deactivated my facebook account; however, it only lasted for a month. Today, on my way home, I reactivated my account and started to think of posting my Korean diary on the facebook. Through facebook, I could read and see how my friends live nowadays. My blog is the top secret that I don't want to tell anybody who thought they knew me well, and everything in here is planned to be posted in English. I want some other place to post in Korean and maybe the facebook could be the best.

It is a little weird to show my life to someone who knew me face to face, but I need to get used to it since every one will read about my words, including novels, short stories, essays, poems and articles.

One of the blissful facts in the life is the family and friends cheer for my dream.

 

 

 Reading books and writing are the factors which kept me going on the goal. I've dreamed of being a writer for about  ten years and kept running toward the aims. I always try not to forget which way I should go becuase once I forget, it is really easy to lose the purpose of the life.

 

While I was reading a book titled "Top Secret" which was for the young adult readers, my bestfriend sent me a text with this picture. She asked me to send my writing to the writing contest and told me that I would keep the writing job for a living. It really encouraged me and actually the fact that someone believed me to achieve the life goal is the most marvelous thought to keep myself up.

 

Actually I failed about two years ago. But with my friend, I decided to attemp for this one more time. I should start soon and try to bring the fine work, which could be my first work in Korean novel.

It's already September.



It's already September and I started the new chapter of my life. I scheduled for the rest of 2015 and set the aims to accomplish. It was not that hard ones, but the goals that definitely let me go to the next level. I'm taking the beginning Chinese course in the morning at Yeouido Pagoda Language Center. Although I told them as I started Chinese for the simple hobby, actually I believe that one day, I might use it for some further plan which I don't have the exact idea at this moment, but I will when the time approaches. Also, I changed my English tutor to the meeting one, not just the texting one since she needs some speaking rather than writing.
The most important fact is that I started to go to the dawn prayer meeting every weekday. It was reaaly graceful to begin my day with the words and prayers. I felt to be protected in the Almighty God and totally to be guided in the words. While praying, I could get some wisdom for life and days and I could go to bed around 10 to 11 p.m. I totally felt that my life is getting healthier.


 

I started to go rideing the wakeboard at Gapyeong. It was funnier than I expected and I really loved it. Even though there was no one who can go with me, I just go by myself. I can have the vacation no matter friends can spend some time with me. Now I am able not only to ride following the boat, but also to do some tricks. However, I am just a beginner who started to enjoy riding them. I hope to make as the professional rider who truly feels the waves and the pressure in between the feet and water. 

Family day should be fun and set for the bonding.

My parents came to Seoul and it was the second day. They were likely talking all day long and I got some distraction while writing my own things, but the family is the love. I can still remember what my social studies teacher taught us when I was seventh grade.

Family meant "Father And Mather, I Love You." How sweet that abbriviation was.

 

 

Our first Seoul Tour Course was at the Seoul Art Center to see the Modigliani exhibition. Actually two weeks ago, we visited for the Fernando Botero exhibition. It wasn't the best-I always expected as the Picaso or Gogh kind of art, but it was okay to heal with the fatty people drew by the round lines.

Modigliani was one of "the leading artists" for Avant Garde; however, I might be too fool to catch all the message he would like to deliver. It wasn't that good, but okay. But the worst part was that there were too many kids who distracted others to focus on the art. I only like a few, maybe three or four. Since my belief for art is that it always includes the messages and the spirits of the artists, in fact, for me, it was little hard to find the base message that he wanted to deliver. Or, I didn't like that depressing face without pupils.

 



 

Our family had very weak physical strength which asked us for some nap time. We came back home and took a nap for about two hours. When I woke up, my father packed to go to coffee shop to read some books he brought from Dae-jeon. He asked me for his company and went to the well-known coffee shop nearby my house. We talked about how we can earn money through writing and lecturing and how the elder needs to prepare for their later years. Since he thought of the stock-investing, after talking with me, he changed his mind. Well, to choose what to do for our lives, considering what we could bring our best ability and concentration is the very first step that should be considered.

 

When my mother woke up an hour later, we went to Hong-Dae, where is the popular place for the youth. There were so many things to see, such as busking for some money or for reputation, Hea-na, street fashion, trend, food, so on. We did Hea-na together on our arm, which was almost removed after taking a shower unluckily. We drank some beer together, actually expect me. We walked around and looking at the other people. But the best part of all was getting the dog key chain! My father went into the baseball practice room and got more than 290, which let him get one of the key chain with the small dog doll. My mother got very excited and enjoyed the time.

 

I am so proud of my parents who tried to live young. They are always trying to exprience the new thing and learn the new world. Although we missed the independent band concert, we came back home for some chicken and beer at home. I felt so great since they enjoyed the culture that could be new to them.

 

Spending the great time with my parents for holiday.

Yesterday, August 14th, was the temporary holiday and my parents visited Seoul to meet me. We've been to Han-River Park which is located along Han River in Yoido. In summer time, they released water on the fountain to make the place cool. My parents went into the fountain to play in the water.

Until last year, my life was the most important fact to take care of. As I remember, I met my parents less than five times for a year and I didn't want to think of the relation with my parents. I threw the tantrum to my parents if I had the trouble with others while working. But after reading Tuesday with Morris and many books, I realized that there was not much time allowed for me to spend time with my people who I love. After all, I tried to take care of my parents and meet as often as possible.

Sometimes, we believed that we have the plenty of time left waiting for us to do our tasks, but the time never waits for me to finish the work. We kept moving forward, but that doesn't mean that we can ignore the people who love me and care for me.

Are you different or wrong?

"But still, everyone knows I'm different," said Joe. "What did I do wrong?"

"You're not different," Marvin said. "I mean, everyone's different. Life would be boring if everyone was the same."

"But what do I do that is so different?" Joe asked. "I want to fit in. I want the other kids to like me. What do I have to do?"

Marvin didn't know what to say. He didn't want to hurt Joe's feelings.

"I don't want to be a door key," said Joe.

"You're not a door key," said Marvin. "You're a good friend. If the other kids can't see that, then that's their problem."

p. 56-57, Marvin Redpost #6: A flying birthday cake,

Louis Sachar

Since it is written for the children around the world, it only takes only about thirty minutes for me to read the whole story. I really like the story of the Marvin Redpost series and for next six or seven days, I'm planning to read all of them.

There are two main messages that I love about: a) everyone is different and the fact of difference makes life more enjoyable, and b) we often make others' problem as mine.

Through living on earth and trying to fit in the society, we easily makes the problems belonging to others let come into our lives as our own; however, the saddest part is that we could not even notice and live the way the others kept asking for us to do. When I was young, I got so much stress and pressure to be as the "standard" people that made by the society, but I realized that there was the huge gap between the reality and the ideal ego. Every time, I live on earth, the world and everyone around me had to pick on me by the difference of characteristics and personality. I should remember that it was not my problem, but theirs, and should try not to bring that into my lovable life.

I love to give five stars: ★★★★★, especially for the message that I love and keep myself remembering through daily lives.

What is your vision and purpose of the life?

Today, there was the religious confession by Kang, Gyun-sung, who is one of the well-known christian singer in Korea. I was really thankful that I've got the chance to listen to his life story in God. He was definitely strong and beautiful on the inside, as well as had a wonderful voice. It was about an hour and half, which I couldn't remember all the words he said. However, there were several things kept in my mind. 

1) Both temperament and ability go together. 

2) We all are sinners and there was no greater or smaller sin in front of God.

3) I should stand firmly on the words, not judging others. 

4) Our vision is not what I want to do, but God and gospel. 

I am asking for myself, what is your vision? 

Are you sure you can fully obey what God tells you to do? 

The first week for the new planner of the brand new life.

It has been a week since I used this gorgeous little prince planner after baptism.
Little prince is one of my best favorite stories and the planner is one of my obsession, and these two were combined.

I changed the planner to prepare for the new life, the very different one than before, but there was nothing actually happening yet. It still reminded me of my decision what I would not live only for the wealth but for the justice and the truth in the Words. To keep this planner for a year, I kept in mind that why I am here to live in the world thought there are so many troubles waiting for me to eat up.

In-body, It's time to work out.

Today, I went to gym and did the in-body test.
No surprised that I got low Skeletal Muscle Mass and high Body Fat Mass since i did not work out for a long time. Recently I had a very hard time waking up in the morning and strongly felt that there was something going wrong in my body, which brought me to the gym rather than did by myself.

I now start to warm up my body for the best condition to work out for next 1-2 weeks and seek the healthy me again. I have no idea how long it will take, but think of 3 months, about 100 days. I need to get 5.8 kg more of Muscle and reduce 1.0 kg fat.
After three months, I truly hope to get my health back with the strong heart and well shaped body.

30 October 2013

1)

Heinrich Schliemann Inspiration

While tweeting yesterday, I had a chance to use the name, Heinrich Schliemann, as a metaphor for who proved what he believed is true; however, the more strongly influential fact was that he was able to speak fluently in 15 other languages, acquired by his own learning methods. He actually memorized foreign language books. I changed my research paper for the Advanced Composition class from Victor Hugo to Heinrich Schliemann language learning.
His self-motivation and self-directed goal absolutely inspired me, and made me read about his life and thoughts. I wanted to live like him, adventure and studious. He just became my life role-model, which changed my reading plan for this week.
I was planning to read 1) Rewriting: How to Do Things with Texts, 2) Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace, 3) Autobiography of W. E. B. Du Bois, and a fiction I have, but now replacing whichever fiction I was thinking to read to "Schliemann of Troy: Treasure and Deceit" by David A Traill. Although not sure it is actually his biography, pretty sure it is about his life and adventure.
In addition, I started his method of language learning on Japanese by memorizing "Between Calm and Passion" by Ekuni Gaori. It has been more than seven years I did not speak and study Japanese, but still little remember very basic grammar role and hope that Japanese for dummies could help to improve my language skill. I believe it might take about six months, but an hour everyday with joy.

2)

Poetry collections

Next week, 6 November 2013, Poet Rodney Jones will visit Purdue University for the poetry reading, and to prepare Q&A section, I bought his poetry collection; however, right next to his book, there was another poetry collection by Mary Oliver, winner of the Pulitzer Prize. For English language learning followed by the method of Heinrich Schliemann, I decided to memorize poems, and the first poetry collection I try to memorize is Rodney Jones's Imaginary Logic. His collection gave me good feeling since the first page says, "Who knoweth the spirit of man that goeth upward and the spirit of the beast that goeth downward to the earth? Ecclesiastes 3:21." Despite lack of knowledge on him, Bible verse delivered good image on his poetry and hope I enjoy the reading. 

29 October 2013

Even though done reading Ellen Bryant Voigt's Headwaters, I kept forgetting to write a review. I might fail to manage my time or to control emotional fluctuation.

Today, accidentally discovered that Heinrich Schliemann, who found Troy, was able to speak in 15 languages by his own language learning method, which is to memorize all things he read. It really motivated me and I decide to memorize what I read now on.

It might be driving me crazy, but so much fun. Here I start the language madness.

Also, sometimes, people go irrational and try to believe themselves logical. Annoying!

20 October 2013, 23rd Birthday

20 October 2013

It was my 23rd birthday.

Once again, all my friends reminded me of how much I am loved and cared.

Becoming 23 is much more meaningful period for me, and hopefully, I can finish my stories and poems and published.

I believe with the desire, I use my time for his kingdom and his righteousness.

Thank you all for my birthday wishes and love.

September 9, 2013

 Due to two hours of nap from yesterday, I could not fall asleep until four in the morning, which made me really upset and frustrated. However, with alarm ringing, I got up about five thirty, but closed my eyes again. Once again I opened eyes at seven, but with tiresome, I stayed at the bed thirty minutes. Not being able to fall asleep is really frustrating and angry moment yesterday. I blamed on everything happening. Well, sleeping well is the best present that human beings ever get.

"Blood Drive"
It was my first blood donation in the United States, and in my entire life. I realized how healthy I am through survey before taking the blood out. Since a huge needle went into my thin left arm, I was scared to death and cannot even see what was going on. They gave me a bottle of water and some snack to take my blood, but still feel great.

However, taking blood out made me tired and take more nap than yesterday ... :(

September 8, 2013

 In the morning, I opened my eyes at 4:30 a.m., but because it was too early for me to wake up, I tried to sleep again its time became full of dreams, I cannot even remember. 

Anyway, as always, I went to church and listened to sermon on Psalm 86:1-4, (KJV),

"Bow down thine ear, O LORD, hear me: for I am poor and needy.

Preserve my soul; for I am holy: O thou my God, save thy servant that trusteth in thee.

Be merciful unto me, O LORD: for I cry unto thee daily.

Rejoice the soul of thy servant: for unto thee, O LORD, do I lift up my soul." 

While listening to sermon, one idea, "is the way you think like Pharisees," stroke me and made me confess on what I've thought and done. Even though knowing that have no right to judge others since we all are same, I always made my own excuses to make a judgement. Trying not to judge others is very hard for me, maybe for people and Christians, to stop from the influence of Adam and Eve eating the fruit of tree of knowing good and evil. 

After church, went to Payless and "Hana mart," Korean supermarket in West Lafayette, IN, and ate a double cheese burger at Daily Queen in Purdue West. After eating a double cheese burger and talking with friends, went to take a nap, really good one, lasting two hours. I personally think that Daily Queen's double cheese burger is the best! Even better than McDonald.

While watching a television show, it mentioned Victor Hugo's "The Man Who Laughs," which definitely grabbed my attention and intellectual interest. Even though the movie, Les Miserables, made me interested in Victor Hugo, not enough to made me read a book-not sure why; however, this one and interests in him made me desire to study French and read in his own language. I am not sure I can complete it or not, but if get a chance, I really want to study about him, since he is the one I am dreaming of, "poet, playwright, novelist, essayist, visual artist, statesman, and human rights campaigner."

Also during searching for cool postcards, I found out one of the way reading books, making reading postcards, drawing a picture on the front and writing words to a main character, author, or another reader. I am really bad at drawing, but since desire to make a good one, may read some book about drawing. 

Well. I failed to manage my time, but still dreamed and planned my challenges. 

Key words for my desire

1. W. E. B. Du Bois
2. Victor Hugo
3. Jane Austen
4. Stephen King
5. John Milton
6. French
7. German
8. Chinese
9. Japanese
10. English
11. Hebrew
12. Latin
13. Photography
14. Climbing
15. Reading books
16. Writing poetry and stories
17. Drawing
18. knitting
19. Playing guitar
20. Bible!!!!!!!!!

Change

When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change the nation.

When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as older man, I tried to change my family.

Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family.

My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.

- Words on a tombstone of an Anglican bishop buried in Westminister Abbey

 

While looking at my memos on my iPad, I found this note. I cannot remember where I got this one, but it is pretty famous words. I do really agree that only thing I can change is myself, and its impact will change the world. From now on, I will put as much efforts as possible on changing myself for good and hope its impact change my surrounding.

1. Sleep early, and start a day early.
2. Put some oxygen into cells in the morning. (exercise)
3. Drink 3 bottles of 500ml water.
4. Always smile and do my best on everything I have to do.